A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Meanness [Sad? Whimsy?]
November 29, 2009
While most Americans will be knee-capping each other at Wal-Mart on Friday, we’ll roll out our other stories. But I just had to run this one from “Jon,” a reader whose Charlie Brown-like tale of reunion woe is truly spectacular.
It was my 10-year reunion. I was reasonably excited. I felt like I kind
of got my shit together in my mid-20s and, since I had a surprisingly
good time at my 5-year reunion, it was a no-brainer to go to my 10th.
Before I continue, you should know I was totally not cool in high
school. Oh, I wanted to be. But I lacked confidence in pretty much every
aspect of my life: school, sports, dating, everything. I had no idea who
I was or who I wanted to be. One of the running jokes about me was that
whenever someone farted, some of my buddies would blame me. I think that
sort of encapsulates my teenage life. I have no idea why.
Anyway, 2002. My 10-year reunion. Before Facebook allowed us to have a
mini-reunion every morning before breakfast. The reunion was at one of
those bars across Lansdowne St. from Fenway. I should have known things
were going to go badly when I went to my friend’s Kenmore Square
apartment for a small pre-reunion get-together. In walks a woman who I
have known since sixth grade, a woman who I saw multiple times in
college, a woman who I once accompanied to a wedding. She walks into the
apartment, comes right over to me and shakes my hand. “Hi, I’m Jen,” she
says. “Nice to meet you.” (Granted, I do look different from when I was
in high school. I now wear glasses and have been slowly losing my hair
for 15 years.)
We head over to the reunion. On my first trip to the bar, one of my
former classmates walks up and says: “So, how about that e-mail?”
“E-mail?” I ask.
“Yeah, that one that was supposedly from you.”
“Huh?”
Long story short, gleaned through interviews with many classmates:
Someone created a Hotmail account in my name and sent multiple messages
to a slew of my ex-classmates. In them, the fake me announced that I was
gay and said that the reunion would be my coming out party as a
flamboyantly gay man. I never actually saw the e-mails, but supposedly
they got ridiculous enough that some people caught on. But not everyone.
And, of course, there was the telephone game effect whereby the people
who didn’t get them only heard about them secondhand and assumed they
were true.
So, I spent the ENTIRE reunion doing the usual catch-up with old
classmates and then slipping in, “So, did you get weird e-mails from
me?” and then explaining they were sent by someone else and that I was,
in fact, not at all gay.
After a couple hours, I gave up. If my former classmates think I’m gay,
so be it. I live 300 miles away now.
The funny thing is, as I said, I was so lame in high school. I didn’t
steal anyone’s girlfriend. I wasn’t a jock. I was a 120-pound nerd with
a receding hairline, spewing dumb jokes to cover up my own insecurities.
The worst thing I did was toilet paper someone’s house.
Even now, I cannot fathom what I did to anyone to warrant a solid burn
10-year after the fact.
And, really, I do appreciate the magnitude of said burn. It was pretty
epic.
But I’m done with reunions.
God, I need a vicodin. Remember — still time to send yours in for Friday. Send them to ajd@deadspin.com
Sports Mode - Cadillac Owners Group
November 28, 2009
Remove this ad I have an ‘07 CTS with the 3.6. My question is does anybody feel the difference between Sports Mode and Regular Mode with the Automatic.
McDaniels’ trash talk strikes chord across NFL - NFL- nbcsports …
November 28, 2009
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Sports cars of the future - silent swoosh instead of a roar
November 28, 2009
Sports cars of the future - silent swoosh instead of a roar
West Virginia beats No. 8 Pitt with last-second FG - College …
November 28, 2009
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Megan Fox gifts sports car to boyfriend
November 28, 2009
London, Nov 28 (IANS) Hollywood actress Megan Fox believes in pampering her boyfriend Brian Austin Green — she has just gifted him a sports car.
The 23-year-old star recently reunited with the actor after confirming their split in June this year. Now Fox has outbid many buyers on Internet auction site eBay and surprised Brian with a Ford classic, reports dailystar.co.uk.
“It’s not his Christmas present but I just recently bought him a 1966 Mustang Fastback. It was actually on eBay…and I found one in really good condition that was beautiful,” she said.
Categories: Hollywood news and Gossips
Sports School
November 28, 2009
These guys from the sports school, which is in Palestine. There they are taught to temper the strength of will…
Gifts For the Extreme Sports Enthusiast | Holiday, gifts …
November 28, 2009
Extreme sports are death-defying, adrenaline-pumping activities that leave most of us staring in disbelief. And whether it’s rock climbing, snowboarding, or skydiving, you may have someone special in your life who likes to push the limits. Here are my picks for gifts that will keep your action adventure buddy safe, warm, and protected no matter where they are.
- Kershaw Carabiner Tool ($35) If MacGyver was a real life dude, I’m pretty sure he’d always have a carabiner on him. It’s a must-have tool when any sort of ropes are involved, and it also doubles as a cool keychain. This carabiner gets pumped up on steroids with the addition of a stainless-steel blade, Phillips-head screwdrivers, and a bottle opener.
- Petzl Elios Helmet ($56) Extreme sports often equate to extreme falls. The Petzl Elios is an exceptional mulipurpose helmet that can be used for climbing, kayaking, and more. I love that it’s durable and lightweight — it doesn’t weigh down my backpack and comes in a ton of colors.
To see the other gift ideas read more.
- The North Face Crimptastic Hybrid Down Jacket ($229) Conditions can get harsh out there so you better be protected. This jacket will keep the wearer super warm and safe from the elements without looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
- Sunto Core Multifunction Watch ($300) Hey world, bring it on! This watch has an altimeter, barometer, and compass that works as high up as 29,000 feet. There’s a storm alarm, and for the scuba diver in your life, it gives accurate depth readings to 30 feet.
>>>Letter to the Sports Editor : Kaieteur News
November 28, 2009
In Thursday’s edition of the Kaieteur sports section Sean Devers referred to Rabindranauth Seeram as a former West Indies (B) Team player. For the records Seeram never had the privilege to represent a West Indies (B) Team, …
Cops: Wife uses golf club to rescue Tiger - Golf- nbcsports.msnbc.com
November 28, 2009
Police say they don’t believe Tiger Woods’ car accident outside his Florida mansion early Friday morning is related to an alleged domestic dispute with his wife, Elin.